My Story, updated August 31, 2023
I am a domestic violence survivor. How I was raised, how I process life and how I see myself contributed to the quality of intimate relationships in my life for decades. Working with multiple therapists and healing modalities and several life coaches as well as personal study/application, healing changed the trajectory of my life. I continue to be a work in progress.
I am driven to build bridges for others because I know what it feels like when someone tries to murder your soul. My journey was often excruciating and isolated, but it does not have to be that way for you.
The heart of it is that there are very few life coaches who tackle the misogyny and patriarchy that accompanies a response to someone finally speaking about being abused. This happens within the community, but at a much greater depth in churches around the world. It is a form of justice when a person escapes a partner's abuse. But, the "church" (any form of organized religion) often re-victimizes and blames the survivor instead of coming alongside them and protecting them.
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Healing can be messy, joyful, overwhelming, and cyclical. Doing it alone is less than ideal. ​Coaching topics are varied, broad and client-specific. A true coaching session usually is a co-created journey, meeting by meeting with broader life implications. There isn't a "right" way to do this. However, while making life changes can stir up emotions, each session should be conducted in a way that furthers you along and does not create harm. Growing pains are normal. Retraumatization is not.
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I am spiritual, but no longer a traditional Christian. I included an early bio on this page so you can see the change. This has been hard for me to come to terms with. Where a church once held the mirage of peace and knowing God, I find it pulsing with conformity pressure, hypocrisy, and misogyny demonstrations rather than worshipful people who continue to run from their own personal pain through spiritual bypassing, which is dangerous. There are many well-educated, strong people finally addressing these topics head-on.
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One paradigm that I use foundationally with clients helps gain common language and perspective, Positive Intelligence®. The best way to categorize the program and application is kind self-leadership. Personally, it was the only way I have found long-term emotional stability and the start of somatic coping tools for everyday life as well as a way to frame every thought and situation so I do not slip into negative habits of thought and behavior.
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Clients are a diverse range of people who simply want to heal and experience peaceful and upgraded lives. You will be met with love, compassion, and honest, positive energy.
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