The Non-Scientific Definition of “Trauma-Informed”

First off, not everyone who has lived through trauma is informed about it, which is often why we see people repeating and cycling again and again. BUT, they do have a unique perspective, from the inside out. We can know what trauma is from living through it, but that does not mean we understand what it does to us. And I believe, until we do, we can keep ourselves imprisoned in fear, hurt, terror, shame, physical pain, existential crisis. This can lead to mental illness and literally heart disease, metabolic disorders, cancers, and so many other disease processes.

Metabolizing trauma, or working through it from all the angles that seem therapeutic to you, takes quite a bit of time. And I think we are built for it to take time. Otherwise, our souls would not be able to deal with it.

I also strongly believe we are not meant to work through trauma alone.

Connection is a major conduit of healing.

Trauma-informed means being educated about what trauma does to our brains, our bodies, our emotions, our self-regard including the esteem, love, trust and care we have for ourselves.

It is a journey to examine all of these dimensions and they overlap and are twisty and sometimes quite painful. I ran across a meme today, which I had seen many times before, but it really captures this trek.

“Sometimes healing is more painful than the wounding.”

I was not prepared for that. It would not have stopped me boarding the train, but it affected how long it took me to work through it.

However, this is a HUGE caveat. Healing isn’t about getting through it “well.” It is about getting through it WHOLE, more whole than when you began. It is about discovery, examining what we carry and shedding what isn’t serving us well. It is about being brave enough to see yourself for who and where you are in the now. It is about accepting what you see reflected there. And about assessing what needs to go and what needs to stay- and that can include habits, thoughts, places, foods, people, jobs, and so much more.

Being trauma-informed means I understand that trauma is carried around in my body, in my nervous system and neural pathways. That it shapes who I have become, how I think, the effectiveness of my memory, the quality of my life and that it can be changed.

The damage is reversible.

Not in the way that you put a car in a different gear and drive backwards the way you came, though. It means repaving, reconstructing, reaffirming who you were all along. It is re-creation and rebirth. It means being willing to allow the trauma to be expressed through the body, and there is really no other way to rid our being of it.

Trauma-informed means knowing your triggers and how to deal with them and manage them. Triggers come up unexpectedly which is what makes it hard handle in the moment. That takes a lot of mental preparation and I could not do it without having developed a mindfulness practice in my life.

Understanding that trauma can be unrecognized, ignored, glossed over, buried. Can be long misunderstood within ourselves especially if it is experienced as a child. We are resilient beings, but we also have thresholds. That is why not everyone remembers what happened to them or connects the dot to what is happening now with what happened long ago.

Trauma does not look the same from person to person. It is distinct. On a brain scan, those in a survival mode will light up specific parts of their brain whereas people who are in a calm state will show activity in other parts of the brain. The nerd in me really wants to explain which parts do what, but I will refrain.

Being trauma-informed means understanding yourself. It means taking the time to get acquainted if you haven’t before. It means Not dismissing the painful parts, but rather, bringing them out from hiding so there is no room for guilt or shame. It means not pushing when your whole self is screaming to take a break. It means being patient with the process. It means that what works for your best friend may actually trigger you. It means you do not have to listen to everyone else’s stories because it is just too much to take. It means leaning in when you get the signals from yourself that you need to set a boundary. It means testing when it feels right to speak up and when it feels right to choose not to share.

I have read quite a bit about trauma. I have lived through quite a LOT of trauma. While I do not think empirical data alone is enough to qualify me to deal with others facing their traumas, I also don’t think a piece of paper does either. Ten certificates with very little personal history of trauma does not make someone trauma-informed. I don’t care what the letters behind their name is supposed to mean.

Being trauma-informed is learning from others who have survived as well as my own experience, the textbook stuff and melding all of that together for a comprehensive understanding, but also bringing new questions to the table and knowing there is still so much more to learn.

If someone has an issue or a challenge, I do not automatically assume it is related to trauma. I am always aware that it could be connected to trauma, though. Being human lends itself to living a trauma at some point. And what may look horrific to me may be much more tolerated by someone with even more trauma than me. But, rather than try to rank or qualify, I just know that trauma wounds us deeply. And this wounding leads to lots of coping behaviors that may actually make things worse for ourselves and others in our lives. At the time, that may have been the only option. In no way, do I have the right to qualify someone else’s trauma.

But, I can sit with them in it as they feel it, assess it, start to bring it to the workbench. That is a privilege.

There is great beauty and courage in the mess. A person’s true being is mixed in with the trauma, the pain, and the healing.

While there is no perfect prescriptive time frame when working with trauma, it can no longer define us once we actually look it square in the face.